Individuality Can Be Developed Through Online Therapy

The genetic component of personality involves the sensitivity of the nervous system in response to certain stimuli. An introvert has heightened sensitivity and will generally feel overwhelmed when faced with too much intense stimulation. A person who is assertive and outgoing will typically have a more robust nervous system and will generally need a large amount of stimulation to rouse attention. Whether someone has an easy-going, difficult or slow to respond temperament is also genetically determined, as is susceptibility to experiencing negative emotions.

However, environmental factors play a larger role in the shaping of personality. The brain of human babies is only partially developed, and without enough emotional nurturing infants fail to thrive. The early interaction between infant and mother moulds the brain's emotional structures, in particular the right brain and limbic system. The infant misses out on certain crucial experiences if the mother is not emotionally available, ie due to post-natal depression or conflicts at home. These emotional painful experiences which are registered as an infant can remain in the somatic (body) or semantic (meaning) memory until adulthood. The emotional structures of the brain then await further development, often indefinitely.

Dysfunctional formation of a person's personality will have a pervasive, repetitive and negative impact on their life. These dysfunctional behaviour patterns were formed as an adaptation to surviving a childhood that was somewhat lacking. People who have a dysfunctional childhood develop a propensity to ignore any information which disconfirms their core beliefs and to perceive the world in a rigid, unchangeable way. Typically after a while the person will feel like they are living a monotonous life, experiencing the same thing over and over again, exactly like in the movie Groundhog Day. Freud called this "repetition compulsion" - we all find ourselves with a boss who nags like mum, friends who disappoint just like in school or a husband who's just like dad.

Awareness of one's personality is only just accessible to conscious awareness because of a weak connection running from the neocortex (thought to be the site of conscious awareness) back to the limbic system. People who are otherwise very intelligent and competent may have missing emotional experiences which, later in life, cause intense yet baffling feelings - the meaning of which stays locked in the unconscious mind. This may cause lifelong struggles with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and relationship problems. However these patterns may be difficult and slow to change in therapy as they resist usual forms of treatment such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) or pharmacotherapy.

The ultimate aim of skilful, personality-based psychotherapy is to increase the possibilities that the world offers. Personality-based psychotherapy aims to expand awareness of a person's personality and add to it, rather than modify it or destroy it. Limiting, self-defeating propensities must first be recognised and challenged as to whether they are an appropriate response to the current situation. In the words of Abraham Maslow: "When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail". Therapy offers you a safe environment to discover your core being, to challenge your personality strategies and to start experiencing the freedom of living unencumbered by these strategies. You will come to learn that your personality is not you any more than your clothes are, even though clothes can be attractive, functional and you would never be without them!